Halloween Classics XIII, The Demon of Music

Hello boils and ghouls, here we are with the final non-musical film to bear the Phantom name - or at least the last one my lazy ass could dredge up* from the depths of stream land. Does this movie fix the problems of the 1943 version while being a worthy follow up to the silent original? Well flay a guy you don't like and sew his skin onto your face, because I'm here to tell you all about 1989's "The Phantom of the Opera" directed by Dwight H. Little and starring Freddie Krueger himself Robert Englund.

Halloween Classics XII, Music of the Night

Phantom Month continues, yeah! With a Universal Classic to boot. Does this version stand tall with the other Universal Classics? Or does it fall and crash into a million pieces like the opera house's chandelier? The answer to that may actually surprise you. So, drench your face in acid and throw on an opera mask because I'm about to tell you all about 1943's "Phantom of the Opera."

Halloween Classics XI, The Silent Angel of Music

Greetings! Wow *cough* lots of dust around here, and cobwebs ... and skellingtons in the closet! It's that time of year again, time for another Halloween Classic. Wow, it really has been a year hasn't it? As empty as this blog gets I'll never abandon the Halloween Classics. So, this year I decided to follow a theme; you see, last week the girlfriend and I saw Andrew Lloyd Webber's The Phantom of the Opera, and while watching it, it occurred to me that as much as I love the Phantom (I really do - this was my third time seeing the production, and I even wrote a song inspired by it - yeah I'm that guy) I haven't seen any of the movies. I decided to rectify that failing immediately: October 2014 is month of the Phantom ya'll, and up first is the granddaddy of them all: 1925's "The Phantom of the Opera" directed by Rupert Julian and starring the magnificent Lon Chaney.

Halloween Classics X, Marauder's Map

It was a dark and stormy day ... wait I've done this joke before (I use the term loosely), never mind. Hello boils and ghouls I'm back for another Halloween Classic. So yeah I'm a day late, but real talk: I think we should just be pleasantly surprised I'm writing anything at all right? I mean I had a mountain of internet dust and digital cobwebs to clean off to even get into the editor ... all the more fitting to tell you about the latest classic scary movie I just watched. Coming at you from 1958 is Albert Band's "I Bury the Living."

Halloween Classics IX, Stealth Bastard

Though my thoughts go out to those in the path of Sandy, I gotta say, it's made for the perfect Halloween weather down here. What with the dark gloomy days and the wind blowing orange leaves all over the place. I feel as if at any moment I'll be jumped by a headless horsemen or a headed skellington. Thus it's perfect timing for me to share another Halloween Classic with you. Wrap your whole head in gauze and let out a maniacal laugh because tonight we're talking about 1933's "The Invisible Man."

Halloween Classics VIII, Demons in the Attic

It was a dark and stormy night ... well really it was just windy. Oh and it was dark too, it being night and all. But it was certainly stormy a bit farther north what with Sandy and well anyway ... there was a math professor who sat down to watch a movie. But not just any movie. No it was a -Duh Duh Duh- Halloweeeeen Classic! Muhahahaha. Ahem sorry, welcome back everyone, Zach is back (That is, I am back, hm), the blog is back, and back with one of my all time favorite features to do. Something I couldn't let pass, no matter how busy I got. That's right, the one where I gush over an old scary movie, and hey, this one's actually scary. A Clive Barker joint coming at you from 1987 it's "Hellraiser."

Halloween Classics VII, Hallow's Eve

Surprise! It's a "Halloween Classics" double feature. You didn't think I'd let you down on All Hallows Eve did you? Throw on a lab coat because this isn't just a Zach post series double feature either. No no, it's an effin Boris Karloff double feature. Oh hell yes, and not just that, tonight I present you with a Frankenstein double feature. It's a Halloween Miracle. That's right, it's time for me to narrowly escape from a burning lighthouse and learn how to awkwardly speak so that I can tell you what I think of 1935's "Bride of Frankenstein."

Halloween Classics VI, It's Alive!

Happy Halloween everyone. Let's celebrate this most wonderful of holidays with a classic "Halloween Classics," what do you say? What makes this one such a redundant classic you ask? Well it's back to my basics, this one's a good old fashioned monster movie, not just any monster movie either, this is a Universal joint. Raising from my lab table to tell you what I think in grunts and groans, here's 1931's "Frankenstein" starring the brilliant Boris Karloff.

Halloween Classics V, The Best Worst Movie

Hello all, this month hasn't exactly gone as planned as far as the Halloween Classics are concerned. I was planning to have one each week and possibly end it all on Halloween itself. Not only did I get started a week late, but a movie I chose to look didn't actually work out, and here we are the day before and I'm about to talk about a movie I wasn't even planning on covering. It worked out because last night, in honor of Halloween antics, the girlfriend and I sat down to watch "Troll 2" which is just too classic to keep to myself. Seriously keep reading, because if you haven't seen this movie you'll want to.

Halloween Classics IV, A House Born Bad

Hello guys and ghouls, it's October, and you know what that means right? Besides cooler weather it means the glorious return of Halloween Classics. So, I thought I'd start this year's series off with a true classic, one that has aged wonderfully and remains scary to this day. Based off of a Shirley Jackson joint, it's 1963's "The Haunting." That's right folks, not that shitty remake from the nineties, this is the real deal here, in glorious black and white, and not starring a Wilson brother.

Halloween Prelude

Alright folks, that about does it for my Halloween Classics this year. I know I know, I thought about doing a fourth but I had too many options I couldn't really narrow it down and ... well I'm lazy alright, you know that by now. Anywho, next year I'll have this more planned out as an October series, one a week and maybe more the last week leading up to Halloween. So, any suggestions for what I should cover next year? I may relax the "haven't seen it before" requirement. What do you think? Should I keep blabbing about movies along with my Bible stuffs? Speaking of blabbing about movies ... psht this way, follow me.

Halloween Classics III

Hi there, welcome back to my little series where I yammer on about classic horror movies. Next up is 1941's "The Wolf Man," another Universal classic. I have a soft spot for werewolf movies since there's been this long running joke about me being a werewolf. I have no memory of how it started, but it stuck ... personally I think it's my sideburns and my overall sexy hairiness. Anyway, how does this early werewolf movie stack up to the shirtless weirdo in that teenybopper series? Read on to find out.

Halloween Classics II

Hi there, next up is 1932's "The Mummy" starring the one and only Boris Karloff. Now I know it's November, so I'm a little behind, next year I'll have this series as an October feature, one a week; but for this year, well I started it off on Halloween day, what else do you want? Anyway, how does "The Mummy" stack up after all these years? Read on to find out.

Halloween Classics I

Hi there, this Halloween I decided to watch a few classic horror movies. To me "classic" means anything from silent masterpieces like "Nosferatu" to more modern classics like "Last House on the Left." So really anything from like 1920 to 1980. Anyway, I thought I'd share some observations about what I watch, just 'cause, you probably haven't seen these movies. I mean unless you're this crazy cool film buff that likes watching Turner Classic movies all the time, if that's the case then kudos. Otherwise check in occasionally for my Halloween Movies series. The only rules are that they're movies I haven't seen before but have always wanted to, let's get to it then.