What I Learned From Numbers

I'm certainly tempted not to do this, the more I think about Numbers the more I want to throw my Bible in the darkest corner of my closet and never find it again. So the sooner I forget about Numbers completely the sooner I'll have the inspiration to tackle the remaining books of the Bible. As true as this may be, the alternative to writing a "What I Learned" is reading more of Deuteronomy, which is far far worse, or maybe not, I don't know, as of right now I'd prefer to blather on a bit about Numbers. Remember how I said that Exodus was boring? I take it back, remember how I said Leviticus was boring? I take it back, even Leviticus was interesting compared to the train wreck that's Numbers. Wait, no, train wrecks are interesting, Numbers is more like a colloquium at the math department: where a stuffy old man blathers on for an hour about some obscure field of mathematics that no one understands or cares about, except Numbers goes on for days. Yes, Numbers is boring.

The Book That God Wrote, Numbers Part 3

Oh my God, finally I'm back. It's been about a year, but for your reading pleasure I present the finale of Numbers. It's been a slow monotonous road, but it's thankfully at an end. So, who's this Balaam fellow I've been hinting at? Where's this crazy sex I promised? Do the Israelites continue their unstoppable crusade? And wait, did I just mention sex? Read on, read on, the answers await you below the cut, it's so damn good to be back.

The Book That God Wrote, Numbers Part 2

Welcome back, the fun is finally starting back up again. What's the fate of Korah's coup? What do the Israelites do for 40 years in the wilderness? Do the Israelites ever learn their lesson? The 2nd part of Numbers brings on the violence again in a big way, and this is just the tip of the iceberg. You'll see, oh you'll see, read on fellow traveler, Numbers continues with a bang.

The Book That God Wrote, Numbers Part 1

Ah finally, in honor of Pi Day, I present Numbers, the stuff I'm good at. This book contains awesome things like ... census taking, job allocation, and tribe arrangements. Yeah ok, so Numbers starts out slow (i.e. BORING), much like a continuation of Leviticus, which is why this post has been so long in coming I'm afraid. But it gets good again once the Israelites pack up their bags and finally leave Mt. Sinai, which was way too long in coming if you ask me. Spoiler alert, shit hits the fan, the Israelites take their inane whining to the next level: Rebellion. Who in their right mind would try to rebel against Moses, or for that matter God? What happens to these awful little mutineers? Read on to find out.