What I Learned From Exodus

Let's see, what did I learn from from Exodus? First of all, Exodus is pretty boring. Ok, well that's not exactly fair, the story of Moses is one of the coolest in Bible to be sure, but compared to Genesis? Yeah I know, it's not really fair to compare anything to Genesis, I have a feeling none of the other books will be as enthusiastically crazy and fun as the one we get right out of the gate. Which is smart, the Bible has one of the best beginnings I've ever read, hook them in the first ten pages right? Well they chose the right book to open the Bible with then, that's for damn sure. Exodus though, well remember when I compared Genesis to the big bang and said by the time we see Joesph that things had started cooling down a bit? Right, well Exodus just keeps the cooling down thing rolling. For one, where Genesis focused on generations of people, all with fucked up families and rivalries, Exodus tells the story of one man, albeit a badass one. Further, by the second half most of the story is over and God just starts listing things off in the most boring way he possibly can. Seriously, I had to actually work to make Exodus humorous, whereas Genesis easily spoke for itself and I could really just employ Jon Stewart's strategy he wrote on his hand a couple of weeks ago: "Make face, curse."

The Book That God Wrote, Exodus Part 2

Welcome to the second and final part of Exodus, wait final part? Already? Is Exodus really that short? Well, not really, a good third of Exodus turns out to be God listing off laws, their various punishments, and his interior design requirements down to the most agonizingly boring and precise details. I plan to spare you most of that and skip right to the good stuff, like what happens when the Israelites finally cause Moses to snap and God to reconsider this whole exodus thing. Let's just say that you don't want to be on Moses' bad side, though you knew that already right? Anyway, here's the story so far: Introduction, Genesis, Exodus part 1. Read on to see how it all turns out.

The Book That God Wrote, Exodus Part 1

Welcome everyone to the latest entry in "The Book That God Wrote" series. Today we start on the second book of the Bible: Exodus. In this part of the story God decides it's time to show off a bit (guess the Israelites have gotten a bit jaded since that gullible Abraham), where we meet the dumbest ruler in all history, we meet the Clint Eastwood/Batman/Gandalf of the Hebrews who doesn't take kindly to his people being enslaved, and God finally thinks its a good idea to lay down some ground rules (other than the "absolutely no foreskins allowed" one they already have). So, when we last left the Israelites, they had settled down in Egypt, how did that turn out? Yeah, not so well, read on to see what happens next. Here's the story so far: Genesis and a little introduction. Unsurprisingly, I think I've already offended a few serious adult types, you really should read the introduction first, you'll know where I'm coming from and if you should continue.