The Book That God Wrote, 2 Kings Part 2

Hey there everyone, I'm back to do some more Bible commenting about. Wait ... yeah that's right. Today we get to learn about Jehu, who will be the king of Israel. Except first he has to kill about half the country to get there. Wow, sounds like your typical summer blockbuster. What are sequels for after all. Off we go.

Aural Pleasure, The Man Who Couldn't Cry

Hey everyone, whatsup? I'm trying something new tonight, see Bible entries take a lot of time and work and sweat and lazing about getting all soul searchy ... it's pretty scary actually. The point here is that the only series I have running are all 15 paragraph epic discussions about a weighty religious text ... meaning I don't get many entries out the door in a timely fashion. So I propose to change that here and now, there's a series I've been meaning to start for a long time, and you know what? I'm just going to jump in and fucking do it already. Here it is, it's called Aural Pleasure, which you may have noticed was the title of my end of year lists, it's about music, and it's awesome. Okay cool, see you next time...

The Book That God Wrote, 2 Kings Part 1

Hey guys, I'm back, finally. Today we start on the sequel of Kings. We get more Elijah, more fun miracles, and some pretty crazy twists. Also, two of the most insane evil stories I've read so far. But, is it as good as the original Kings? Well read on to find out I guess.

What I Learned From 1 Kings

At first glance, 1 Kings doesn't seem to have much in the "Hey I Learned Something" department. I mean sure there's the obvious with Solomon, the whole wisdom > gold, fame, and sex. Though it does sort of imply that the pursuit of wisdom will make you rich, powerful, and a sex machine. It's a nice thought, but my own pursuit of wisdom hasn't led to such a life, at least not yet. But that's okay, I can live without having to decide which of my 700 wives I'll sleep with tonight, and if you think this is a problem that you'd love to have, then you haven't thought of what having 700 wives worth of nagging would be like have you? Yeah I know, it hurts your soul doesn't it? There's also the fact that there weren't very many stories exemplifying Solomon's wisdom, I mean we're told he's wise, so I guess we've got to just accept that. Or maybe we'll just have to wait for Proverbs to really see. And don't even start with the whole "Let's cut a baby in half, woo!" is a sign of his wisdom. It's more proof that everyone else in Israel was dumb. Hm, maybe that's it, maybe Solomon was just super wise relative to the rest of Israel. There's something to think about eh?

The Book That God Wrote, 1 Kings Part 4

Alright, so I guess I should tell you about the last stuff in 1 Kings yeah? Let's get to it shall we, unfortunately Elijah has bombed out since speaking with God, and he doesn't really show up again until 2 Kings. Still there's a little bit more crazy to share with you, especially regarding Ahab. Let's get to it.

The Book That God Wrote, 1 Kings Part 3

Hey there, I'm back after a quick little legal battle. Don't worry, I have the best lawyer ever, seriously you should've heard her. She rocked in some freedom of speech arguments along with the obvious separation of church and state point. And my favorite, "My client's beliefs resemble those of Deist practices, which may I remind the court, were held by many of the founding fathers. Under this belief system, it would be impossible for the God my client believes in to be present enough to bring charges on a follower." It was brilliant, not that God had much of a case anyway. But I'm back, to tell you all about how awesome Elijah was. Let's get to it.

Notification of Cease and Desist

This is a notification that the author, known as "Master Z" or simply "Zach," of this blog named "Scientific Conquests of a Cowboy Mathematician," herein referred to as simply "the blog," has been issued an order of cease and desist in regards to his or her continuing series "The Book That God Wrote." Further, this author is currently under investigation for defamation of character, false representation of legal records, and conspiracy to think independently. As a consequence of these charges, the author's computers and other communication devices have been seized until a to be determined date. For further details regarding the nature of these charges brought forth by our client refer to Article 17a. (iii) of this document, herein referred to as "after the jump."