Thursday, March 31, 2011

The Book That God Wrote, 1 Kings Part 2


Hello there, March is almost over, I'm just barely getting two entries in this month, which is my average rate I suppose. Today we get to learn about all of the chaos born from the death of Solomon. We also learn about a great character I never really knew about before, he's this nutty prophet named Ahijah ... okay well he's only nutty because I indulged and made him that way, but there's gotta be a reason I was inspired to lean that way don't you think? Anyway, read on, read on.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

The Book That God Wrote, 1 Kings Part 1


Hey guys, I'm back. I say that a lot don't I? Well, I've decided to stop apologizing for it, I'm busy, you know that already, I know that already, let's just stop focusing on that ok? I'm never giving up on this project though, ever, that I promise, so even if there's no updates for ten years, keep refreshing this page because it will be coming soon. Anyway, today I'm going to tell you all about David's successor, the wise and very sexually experienced Solomon. Read on, read on.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

What I Learned From 2 Samuel


Man ... do I even exist anymore? I don't think so, I think I've been replaced with job applications, dissertations, papers, and various other forms of mathematics, but I can crawl out of this depressing cave of boring to give you my thoughts on 2 Samuel even though I can't remember half of it anymore. Wait, no, I remember the important parts, it's about David, my main man David, and his inevitable downfall. Was it inevitable? I think so, much like main character deaths are inevitable in Joss Whedon shows, the moral fall of a holy character in the Bible is pretty much a must. This is the book that takes David at what would be any normal person's lowest point, the slaughter of the secret homosexual love of his life, and showed just how much worse shit could get. Why did this book take me so long to get through and finally finish writing about (besides the whole PhD bullshit)? Because this book is depressing. It takes our main man David, the most under of all underdogs and kicks him while he's down. Leave it to the Bible to throw a curve ball like that to the pinnacle of all underdog stories, "No, our victorious underdog doesn't live happily ever after, he gets fucked over an uncountable number of times, the end." Hard to stomach that, don't you think?