Halloween Classics IX, Stealth Bastard

Though my thoughts go out to those in the path of Sandy, I gotta say, it's made for the perfect Halloween weather down here. What with the dark gloomy days and the wind blowing orange leaves all over the place. I feel as if at any moment I'll be jumped by a headless horsemen or a headed skellington. Thus it's perfect timing for me to share another Halloween Classic with you. Wrap your whole head in gauze and let out a maniacal laugh because tonight we're talking about 1933's "The Invisible Man."

Halloween Classics VIII, Demons in the Attic

It was a dark and stormy night ... well really it was just windy. Oh and it was dark too, it being night and all. But it was certainly stormy a bit farther north what with Sandy and well anyway ... there was a math professor who sat down to watch a movie. But not just any movie. No it was a -Duh Duh Duh- Halloweeeeen Classic! Muhahahaha. Ahem sorry, welcome back everyone, Zach is back (That is, I am back, hm), the blog is back, and back with one of my all time favorite features to do. Something I couldn't let pass, no matter how busy I got. That's right, the one where I gush over an old scary movie, and hey, this one's actually scary. A Clive Barker joint coming at you from 1987 it's "Hellraiser."

The End of the Interviews

Hello boils and ghouls ... sorry, I'll never do that again in a month other than October. So as you can probably notice, there hasn't been a Bible entry in some time, and quite honestly there probably won't be for a while. Let me tell you why though before you start DDoS attacking the blog. The short version: I Got A Job! That's right, call me Professor Zach: Job Haver. After two years of unending applications, interviews, and depressing rejections, the interviews are finally over. Though now I have to pick up and move about 14 hours away ... that's why there hasn't been an entry in so long, and why you probably wont see one in a while. I'm going to try and fill the spot up with some other stuff that I can in the meantime, like Aural Pleasures and movie stuff and whatnot. But please bear with me (all two of you) while I make this pretty crazy transition.

The Book That God Wrote, Song of Songs

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The Book That God Wrote, Ecclesiastes

Hello all, I bet you didn't think I'd be back so soon did you? You didn't think I'd be able to make it before the end of May did you? Hah you forget you're dealing with a former grad student whose still suffering from the "I can't enjoy my time off" syndrome, which can be deadly if left untreated, you've been warned. Anyway, I'm here today to talk to you about Ecclese- um Eccrisis?  Eccleston? No that's not right, Ecchymosed? Wait, Ecclesiastes! Got it, damn that shit's hard to spell. Anyway, other than it being impossible to spell, what else do I think about this little Bible book? Let's find out.

The Doctor Is In

Hello all, I'm back and better than ever. Why am I better than ever? Obviously, duh, doi, doing, zing, blam, bloom, blurm, because I am now Doctor Z, I can put that shit on my luggage now, what up. Internet high five! *CLAP* That was awesome, it will never happen again though. I'm very sorry, but awesomeness that kinetic is a lot like lightning, it won't strike the same place twice. So yeah, as you can probably guess I've been busy as shit lately, and then I wasn't busy, but was party-hartying around the country celebrating my doctortude. This is why I've been so silent, also because I'm lazy, but that part you know. Yeah I know, I've only done two Bible entries this year, I'm the worst. Granted they were really good entries, you'd rather have quantity over quality wouldn't you? Ugh! Who am I kidding, of course you wouldn't, alright it's all going to change, I promise all two of you, that I'll be more on top of things this summer. Just remember, I'm the Doctor now.

The Book That God Wrote, Proverbs

Hi everyone, how are you? I've spent the month of April with the born agains, and let me tell you, it was great. We spent all our time hanging out and having fun, y'know talking about how awesome Jesus and God are, and we were certainly not drinking, cursing, smoking, having premarital sex, or doing anything remotely fun. Actually no, it was horrible, after about 30 days I realized that, despite what what you might think, I love those things, I love them. But fortunately our monthly Bible study for April (meaning the entire month, as in all day every day) was on Proverbs, which wouldn't you know it, is the next book in this wonderful little series. So I'm back to tell you all about it.

Good News Everyone

Greetings and blessings brothers and, to a lesser extent, sisters. Thank you for coming by to visit my blog today. I have some spectacular news to share with you, wonderful resplendent news. News though that will imply pretty big changes to the blog. So read on to see what's in store for me and you and everything else.

The Book That God Wrote, Psalms

Hello everyone, I'm back. After a long long bit of work I am officially unofficially a doctor. Yes I final defended my dissertation last week, which is pretty much the last hurdle required. Though I probably can't put it on my luggage until after graduation, but I'm pretty much there. Soon, after six years of grueling thankless bullshit work, I can finally add some letters to my name. Woo (it's really depressing when you think of it that way actually, so I wont). The real question is though: does this make me more qualified to tell you what I think of Psalms? Oh my, let's find out shall we?

All Quiet On The Zachtern Front

Hi everyone, so things may seem a little quiet here huh? I'm still here, and I promise I'll have some Bible entries coming down the pipe as soon as possible. I'm currently in the process of trying to get my dissertation's final defense planned, which for those of you not in the know, is the final hoop in the myriad of bullshit required to get a Ph.D. So if things seem quiet for a long time this is probably why. Also, the next book is Psalms, fucking Psalms, have you ever read Psalms? First of all it's 78 pages long ... sorry I just collapsed from a mini aneurysm. To give you some perspective, the longest book I've touched so far was probably somewhere between 20-30 pages. Yeah let's just double that shit (More than double, fuck my life). And then it's a bunch of poetry written by David, how in the world am I going to do this? 78 Bible pages of poetry ... fucking poetry. What have I gotten myself into. I have no idea how I'll do this, so yeah that's also why the Bible entries seem to have completely dried up since Job, blame that fabulous David and his book of songs ... er Psalms. Whatever the difference is. Anyone know what a Psalm actually is? I'd love to know, anyway, until next time.

Two Years of the Book That God Wrote

Greetings dear readers, today marks the two year anniversary of my very first blog post about the Bible. It blows my mind that I've been doing this stuff for two whole years. Two years of struggling through tough books, pondering over my interpretations, lamenting over my own commentary, and just having it sit on my brain. To say I misjudged the amount of time this would take is probably the underestimate of the year two years. At this rate I'll never finish, but that's okay, at least you'll always have something to read right? God, two fucking years.

Aural Pleasure Presents: The Twelve Days of Xmas Music Extravaganza 2011

Hey everyone, here it is, all of the Aural Pleasure Twelve Days of Xmas collected in one convenient place so you don't have to search through everything. That's my final present to you. And remember, these are in no particular order at all, they're all what I consider to be albomb of the year, don't make me make that distinction okay? Alrighty, now that that's out of the way, enjoy.

Aural Pleasure, The Thirteenth Day of Xmas

On the thirteenth day of Xmas my AP gave to me ... thirteen songs a-play- wait a minute, there isn't a thirteenth day of Xmas is there? There's not? Really? Well damn, I had so much more music to talk to you all about. Even though I was joyous at the completion of the list yesterday. Okay, so here's the deal, today I'm going to list all the stuff that was vying for a spot on my list. Many of these didn't make it simply because I just hadn't listened to them as much as the others. Some of these were actually hard not to include, and the twelve spot was only chosen at the very last minute with basically what amounted to a coin toss (It was actually a dwarf toss). Anyway, here's a list of things that almost made it, and very well may have kicked certain albums off if I had only listened to them a few times more.

Aural Pleasure, The Twelfth Day of Xmas

On the twelfth day of Xmas my AP gave to me ... twelve drummers drumming. Hey, I got that one right, wow, I can't believe how that worked out. And okay, it only sounds like twelve drummers in this group ... I guess. 'Cause you know ... there's the one drummer who's really dynamic and I uh ... man can you tell that I'm burned out on all these intro jokes (I use the word "joke" generously here)? Thank goodness this is the last one, hooray. What is this last album of the year.

Aural Pleasure, The Eleventh Day of Xmas

On the eleventh day of Xmas my AP gave to me ... eleven things the water gave me. Also eleven heartlines ... and eleven devils. Or was that seven devils? Eh who cares, they rhyme, and multiple devils are involved. Let's see who we have today, if anything they have the best damn opening picture on the list, wouldn't you say? Read on to see who it is, yay.

Aural Pleasure, The Tenth Day of Xmas

On the tenth day of Xmas my AP gave to me ... ten wolves a-waiting. Eek, that's scary, lemme try again, how about ten orchestras a- ... um orchestrating? I don't think that works. How about ten drum loops a- ... looping? Man, this just gets harder and harder as I go along. Let's just get to album numero ten.

Aural Pleasure, The Ninth Day of Xmas

On the ninth day of Xmas my AP gave to me ... nine impressed steampunk girls. No? How bout nine things made in China? Or how about nine guys who used to be a pimp but are now hoinfodaman? Have you guessed it yet? We have quite the unexpected surprise today.

Aural Pleasure, The Eighth Day of Xmas

On the eighth day of Xmas my AP gave to me ... eight kids born a-screaming. Born a-screaming they had fire in their eyes. Like wild demons, Lord it came as no surprise. Okay I know the frontman of this band doesn't actually have eight kids, at least I hope for his sake that he doesn't, but that's a hell of a homage to his children wouldn't you say? Yep, today's album is the one and only: