The Book That God Wrote, One Year Later

A year ago I had an idea, nothing big, just a little side thing to occupy my math related blog when I couldn't think of anything science-y to talk about. You might have heard about it. If not it's where I decided I'd read the entire Bible and share my thoughts, learnings, insights, doubts, and exclamations. I even claimed I'd be able to do all of this in a year and three months, all while trying to finish up my doctorate. In any case, today's the anniversary of the very first post in "The Book That God Wrote" series, that's right, Genesis Part 1 first saw the light of day exactly a year ago. So, how did I do? What have I learned? What's my stance on all this so far? Well in celebration of this anniversary I thought I'd answer a few of those questions.

So yeah, first of all, I totally underestimated this project. But in my defense, it was originally supposed to be something far less ambitious, a way to keep me active on the blog, something to ensure I'd have something to say every Sunday. Basically just entries of me going "Woah, did you know the Bible actually says this? Neither did I, neato, end of post." But "The Book That God Wrote" took on a life of its own, immediately, this is the Bible for Christsake, there are stories that need to be shared, stories that demand more that a short little post every Sunday. Stories that I myself had to come to terms with, I had to understand the characters, their motivations, I had to walk away with some understanding, even if it was all just me making up how I wanted to read into it. Suddenly I was spending months on single books, because they demanded it, or because they were too boring to make it through in a week ... that happened too.

So here I am a year later and I'm not even half way through the Old Testament, a little over a third though - woot, and what do I have to show for it? Well, oddly enough, I feel somewhat wiser reading through so much of the Bible. It's strange, as much weird sex, nonstop violence, horrible treatment of women, and batshit craziness I read about, there's still something there. Something beneath the surface, something deeper in there, something better. Something true about life as a human being on this miserable planet, and something resembling an escape. I can't quite put my finger on it, but there is something is this madness that will make you feel wiser for reading it. I often find myself these days saying, in mid philosophical conversations, things like "Well in the Bible there's a story where ..." and it's usually valid, and makes an interesting point, and I don't know, I find this surprising for some reason.

For example, so much of the Bible is about fucked up families, from Cain and Abel, through Jacob and Esau to Joseph and his fucked up brothers all the way to David's family. These are epic stories we're given, where God promises and punishes, while his children duke it out amongst themselves, but it's also obviously metaphorical. What is Cain and Abel really about? A man that kills his brother because some imaginary guy in the sky likes the kids vegetables more than his own beef steak? No stupid, it's about something coming between two brothers, something silly, and one of them murders the other for it. Modern people have murdered their best friends, their spouses, hell even their siblings over much dumber things haven't they?

Like I said, there's some truth living in all this madness, these are metaphors we can relate to, or learn things from (If you try). Provided you don't get too hung up on the whole "did it really happen?" bullshit. Still not convinced? How about the obvious underdog story reigning through the entire book. God sides with the underdog every single time, and I've already talked at great length about that. Still, the overarching metaphors I've noticed so far involve family dynamics and the beauty of being the underdog. Most of us are underdogs, if you're reading this you're an underdog, if you weren't you wouldn't be here. You'd be off buying $1000 bottles of champagne and sending your caviar infused veal back because it wasn't exactly right. You'd have a butler picking up after you. That's not you, nor is that real. The Bible is offering (in some ways) a world where the poor and the outcast come out on top, maybe not in terms of money or riches, but in terms of God's favor. And that's powerful shit my friends. It's basically saying in big letters "You don't have to be rich, you don't have to be the first born, you don't have to be powerful, but you can still have God on your side." Interpret that how you will, but to me it already offers an alternative metaphor to our broken materialistic society.

So, enough of the "What I Learned" stuff, let's pair this with the end of year nonsense eh? How about, my top 5 favorite stories in the Bible so far.

5. Samson. Pretty much everything Samson did was fucking hilarious, that was until he met Delilah. Does anyone know how the fuck this kid became a judge? It'd be like if Bush was elected president twice ... oh wait. Anyway, ass jaw, corpse honey, and magic hair pretty much says it all for Samson, easily the funniest character in the Bible.

4. Levi and Simeon vs A Whole Goddamned City. Yeah this is about as Clint Eastwood as it gets. Jacob's daughter is raped by the prince of this city, and her two brothers somehow convince the whole goddamned place to slice off their foreskins. Then they stroll through the place and murder everyone. Hardcore.

3. Saul vs David. This story is certainly tragic, but also fantastic. David's father figure goes completely batshit insane and tries to kill the kid. Yet despite all that David continuously spares Saul's life. A story full of paranoia and political intrigue, and in many ways reminds me of Hamlet. Both men's traits become their downfall, very good shit.

2. Jacob and Esau. This was my top story up until very recently. Two brothers twisted against each other by their completely fucked up parents, only to go off on their own and succeed at making a life for themselves without any blessings or birthrights or bullshit from their parents. A wonderful metaphor for growing up and leaving your parents' shadow, and coming together despite having a shitty childhood. Easily the best story in the Bible. That is, if it wasn't for ...

1. David and Jonathan. Hey, did you know that David was gay? Okay, maybe he wasn't, but just the fact that I can ask the question, seriously, and begin a dialogue on the subject does my heart good. David killed a goddamned giant and he was gay, he can do both you know. Everything about this makes it my all time favorite story in the Bible.

Here's to another year of the Bible overtaking my blog.