Notification of Cease and Desist

This is a notification that the author, known as "Master Z" or simply "Zach," of this blog named "Scientific Conquests of a Cowboy Mathematician," herein referred to as simply "the blog," has been issued an order of cease and desist in regards to his or her continuing series "The Book That God Wrote." Further, this author is currently under investigation for defamation of character, false representation of legal records, and conspiracy to think independently. As a consequence of these charges, the author's computers and other communication devices have been seized until a to be determined date. For further details regarding the nature of these charges brought forth by our client refer to Article 17a. (iii) of this document, herein referred to as "after the jump."

On March 31 2011 our client Yahweh, also known as God, the Lord, and the Rock, and herein to be known simply as "God," filed charges against one Zach [Last name unknown], author of the blog defined in Article 22b. section IV of this document. God believes that he was unfairly and incorrectly represented in Zach's ongoing series of articles wherein he describes a book written by our client, herein known as "The Bible." Further, God claims that this book is a religious legal document of global significance, and that Zach intentionally misinterpreted and falsified countless laws and commandments within. Our client also claims that Zach made false, misleading, and often times mean spirited comments regarding God personally. He or she even went so far as to question the gender of God, herein to be known as "obviously male," and accused our client of committing uncountably many heinous crimes, including numerous counts of murder, arson, and one count of drug use with one "Krishna," herein known simply as "Krishna." (Note "Krishna" has yet to file any claims against Zach at this time).

In light of these charges, we have issued Zach a cease and desist order. He or she may no longer make any references to "God," "Yahweh," "Israel," "the Bible," or "circumcision," in his or her blog, as these words are protected under copyright law, with the one true God of Israel as the sole copyright owner. Further, he or she may not continue the series "The Book that God Wrote," unless certain binding conditions are met, as described in Article 33g of this document. Nor may the author make derogatory comments relating to any person, or persons, associated with God in any legal respect. This includes, but is not limited to, individuals including: Abraham, Issac, Jacob, Moses, Joshua, David, Jesus, any Pope (living or dead), and Billy Graham. As mentioned in Article 24t. (vi) of this document, Zach may continue his or her series "The Book that God Wrote," provided he or she adheres to the following restrictions:

1. No derogatory mention of God, Jesus, angels, or any heavenly being can be made. This includes implying that said beings do not exist, are not perfect, or that said beings contradict themselves.
2. No offensive language may be used in any way. This includes, but is not limited to, words like "fuck," "dick," "whore," "bitch," "vagina," "goddamn," and "moist." Words like "hell," "damn," and "ass," are allowable, but only in their traditional interpretations.
3. All humor must be stricken from any reference to the Bible. Our client claims that the Bible is intentionally boring, tedious, and redundant, and therefore, the text therein should be presented in exactly the same manner.
4. There may be no positive references to "homosexuality," all references therein must be completely negative and derogatory. This includes any reference to one "David," and any other related man of God. Our client claims that no man can be both a man of God and homosexual.

If all of these restrictions are met, including, but not limited to, any other requests that come to our client's mind, then Zach may continue his or her blog series defined in Article 22b. section IV of this document. If Zach does not adhere to all of these restrictions, then he or she may face penalties, a minimum of which is the revocation of his or her ability to type, and up to a maximum penalty of eternal damnation in hell. At this time our client is seeking an out of court settlement. For further details regarding anything herein, refer to Document 927, Articles 17--22.
-Posted by Enoch Metatron, God's attorney, through Master Z's seized account.