Hello all, this month hasn't exactly gone as planned as far as the Halloween Classics are concerned. I was planning to have one each week and possibly end it all on Halloween itself. Not only did I get started a week late, but a movie I chose to look didn't actually work out, and here we are the day before and I'm about to talk about a movie I wasn't even planning on covering. It worked out because last night, in honor of Halloween antics, the girlfriend and I sat down to watch "Troll 2" which is just too classic to keep to myself. Seriously keep reading, because if you haven't seen this movie you'll want to.
According to wikipedia this movie was made in 1990, which I just can't believe, for some reason this movie just feels so much older too me, maybe because it's so bad, but seriously, look at these screens. So let's just get this out of the way right now, "Troll 2" is in the category of "so bad it's good." And man, if I'm to talk about classics of the horror genre, then this is a true classic in this particular subgenre, and so in my mind it counts. This movie is a complete disaster, from beginning to end, the writing is god awful, the story completely batshit insane, the acting is terrible, and the special effects are wonky (Especially the design of the chlorophyll green stuff, that shit looks so awful, not sure why anyone would drink/eat it), although some of the tree effects are pretty cool, but definitely not good. Seriously, this movie feels like it was written by a foreigner who barely knows English and who wrote it while battling a truly intense fever.
Let me give some examples of how batshit this all is, spoilers follow, not that ruining the plot is something you should care about, although some of the madness is best experienced fresh. The movie's called "Troll 2" but there isn't a fucking troll to be found, yeah it's about goblins, and instead of bombing around and eating people in horrible ways, they bomb around trying to trick people into eating their disgusting green pudding stuff called chlorophyll green, which turns people into a tree, but sometimes into just green slime, or something. The goblins do this so they can eat them, 'cause y'know, goblins are vegetarians. So, some kid is haunted by the ghost of his dead grandfather who's the expert on goblins for some reason, and stopping them involves touching a "stonehenge magic stone" (Yes that's what it's really called) using the power of good and somehow saving the day with a quadruple-decker bologna sandwich.
No, I did not make any of that up, and that's just a taste of what "Troll 2" has to offer. Now if that doesn't sound like the best movie ever then you sir are far too serious. This movie rocks, it really is one of the most entertaining times I've had watching a movie in a long time, and parts of it had me laughing harder and longer than any movie I can remember in a long time. Though you spend your time laughing at the movie, which could normally make you feel like a cynical jackass, but honestly I didn't have that problem here, there's something about this movie. Seriously, despite the ineptitude of the writing, acting, and plot, there's an endearing quality to everything, this movie is just so likeable and entertaining ... not in the way it wants to be of course, but that doesn't really seem to matter. This movie is fun, and ultimately, that's why I'm talking about it, and it's probably why this movie has such a cult following.
So, for those of you that don't take your horror movies seriously, who watch movies on Halloween that are chosen specifically for their ability to be made fun of, then this is your classic, and boy is it ever classic. Even if you don't like sitting around and trashing a bad movie (and seriously why not?), I'd even say there's something for you here, as bad as it is, it does seem like everyone involved was having fun, and surely you can appreciate that. Also, "Troll 2" has probably one of the best (that is, most fucked up) romantic encounter scenes I've ever witnessed, when you get to it you'll know, it's fucking pointless and brilliantly mental and makes me wonder who could have possibly come up with something so stupid, and more frightening, who in their right mind would think it was a good idea? "Troll 2" can be found on netflix instant, so you really have no excuse not to see it. Just invite some friends over first, it'll be better with company. Enjoy.
First off, I didn't even realize how well known this movie really was. I mean, I'd heard of it somehow years ago, but I didn't think it was that big of a deal. But every time I've mentioned it, it's been like "Oh, THAT movie!"
ReplyDelete2nd of all... because popcorn sexy times is a good idea, That's why.
Yeah it has a pretty big cult following, which is what the documentary "Best Worst Movie" is all about. Also, I'll remember that and bring a bowl of popcorn with me next time.
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