Two Years of the Book That God Wrote

Greetings dear readers, today marks the two year anniversary of my very first blog post about the Bible. It blows my mind that I've been doing this stuff for two whole years. Two years of struggling through tough books, pondering over my interpretations, lamenting over my own commentary, and just having it sit on my brain. To say I misjudged the amount of time this would take is probably the underestimate of the year two years. At this rate I'll never finish, but that's okay, at least you'll always have something to read right? God, two fucking years.

I don't know if I have anything new to say since last year quite honestly. I still feel like when you take the Bible as a whole (Or at least the whole I've read so far), ignoring the little bits here and there that are more affected by the time period than anything else, you find a text that defiantly stands up for the little guy. Fuck the rich, fuck the powerful, fuck the rulers and the kings, the kingdom of God belongs to the underdog. Social justice, even scary mean bipolar Old Testament God is all about social justice, so ignorant asshole can go fuck himself. Like I said though, there are some things that might go against this idea, the treatment of women, the (very few) anti-homosexual leanings, and many other examples of contradictory weirdness. Like I said though, many of these things are more reflections of the time this was written, and when you ponder the overall theme of what's been going on, to me it comes down to that God is with the underdog, even if we can't completely comprehend him. But isn't it a cop out to ignore these blatantly unfair things and then say the theme of the Bible is justice? Er well, good question, I say no.

Here, take the Declaration of Independence as an example, a document many people consider to be an extremely important statement on human rights. You all know that all important turn of phrase right? "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." A phrase that was paramount in the construction and history of the United States. Right, that's all well and good, but when it was written were all humans actually equal? How about even after the construction of the country? Not at all, not even close, how many of the founding fathers had slaves? Thomas Jefferson, the man who wrote those very words owned (and enjoyed banging) slaves. Even today I would not say that all people are equal in this country, nor in any other, and yet that doesn't mean I don't think that sentence in the Declaration of Independence is incorrect. In fact I feel quite the contrary, and I like to believe it's the standard and truth that we're striving for, and getting hung up on the awful details of the time period doesn't detract from the truth I find. Which is not to say I condone any of it, slavery was a fucking horrible atrocity, and just trying to wave it away would be ignorant folly, but again, that doesn't mean there isn't truth in that statement yeah?

In much the same way, the Bible has horrible treatment of women and countless other types. The brutal genocide of other religions for reasons that aren't entirely explained or justified. But I don't see any of that as the point, how could I? That would be a depressing conclusion wouldn't it? I find a lot of the Bible to be a reflection of the times, and the times were fucking horrible, no question. And yet, as a whole, reading between the lines, it's hard to miss the theme of social justice, the backing of the little guy, the idea that God is with the underdog. Does the fact that the Law of Moses allows a woman to be raped and then sold to the raper as a wife detract from this overall theme of justice? It might yes, and I can see how it would, but the Law of Moses isn't the point, the point is what you find in the Bible as a whole, stripping away the era influenced fluff and get right to the point. Love and justice win in the Bible, and it truly is a shame that this idea is hidden in so much bullshit.

I could go on forever, and at this point I'm just repeating what I've already said. Let's wrap this up shall we? Last time I did a list of my five favorite stories from the Bible thus far, and honestly that list is about the same still, Elijah and the Baalboys would be added of course, and Job would rocket up to the top three somewhere. Other than that it's the same exact list. So this time why don't I give a list of some things that have surprised me about the Bible. Maybe some things I was expecting to find but haven't yet, or perhaps some things I wasn't expecting that appeared out of nowhere, let's go.

Heaven and Hell:

So yeah, Hell hasn't been mentioned once yet. The term "Sheol" is mentioned sometimes with a footnote saying that it's Hebrew for "grave" or "pit" or something like that. Heaven hasn't been mentioned yet either, other than the sense of God living in the heavens, which could easily be mistaken as the sky or the stars or the universe. What I'm getting at is that not once has it said anything like "If you are good you go to heaven and if you're bad you fucking burn in hell like the heathen scum you are." In fact everyone just goes to Sheol, which is definitely true if it's saying they go to the grave. Elijah was taken directly up to heaven though, there might be some other references like this I'm missing. The point is though that the heaven/hell death dichotomy we know so well seems to be missing, and that's quite surprising.

Sympathy for the Devil:

Um, Satan's only been mentioned once, in Job, and even there it came with a footnote saying that it actually meant "the accuser," and it also got a fussing from a grumpy divinity student about how it's not actually Satan. Also it felt tacked on anyway. Where's the fucking devil huh? We've seen plenty of other false gods, like that worthless Baal, and Asherah, and others, but no Satan, no Lucifer, no Samael. Nothing like that, in fact the only evil spirit I can remember was the "evil spirit from God" that tormented Saul. Maybe there are some others I'm overlooking, but yeah, no real Satanic presence so far, maybe he hasn't rebelled yet.

Godly Karma:

If you do good things then God will reward you, but if you do wicked things then God will punish you. We've all heard that before right? According to Job it's wrong wrong wrong. Job implies that even if you're good bad shit can happen to you, that's just the nature of the universe kid, better nut up and get on with your life. I've said it before, but I'll say it again, you don't do good things because you'll be rewarded for it, you do it because it's right, and the alternative is too horrible for me to consider.

Homosexuality:

There's actually very little in the way of anti-homosexuality, as opposed to what the fundamentalist right would have you believe. There's the story of Sodom and Gomorrah, which is surely more about pure evil gang raping than ordinary homosexuality, unless you believe that all homosexuals act like the depraved assholes in Sodom, in that case you need to have your head checked. Then there's a reference or two in the Laws of Moses, which rest alongside laws that say you shouldn't plant two different seeds together, or wear a shirt made of both cotton and polyester, or that you should be put to death for cursing your parents. So far the evidence that homosexuality is wrong just doesn't hold up, really it holds about the same weight as the law saying that we should stone a person for stubbing their toe and yelping "goddamnit!" If anything, the Bible spends more time in support of homosexuality with one of the strongest loving relationships to be found in the entire book so far, between David and Jonathan. Their love, stronger than that of any woman according to David himself, was quite the surprise, one the extremist assholes would rather you didn't know about.

God's Liberal Laws:

As crazy and as mean as Old Testament God is, there are some Laws up in the Moses shit that quite surprised me. You have to leave part of your crops alone during harvest time so that poor people can come by and eat them. It's against Mosaic Law to lend anything with interest. Every so often (like 10 to 20 years) there's a year of Jubilee where all debts are wiped clean. And there are many more, I think it's odd that somehow traditional Christian values got mixed up in politics that are based on greed, when even Old Testament God was very much against that. He was all about taking care of the poor, cross-dressers and women? Fuck them, but the poor? Treat them well, and help them out when they're in need, so says God. See what I mean about the underdogs?

So that's enough for now I think. I'm sure a lot of what I've said can be "proved" wrong by some elusive passage somewhere, but you know what? I don't care. I feel like one or two out of context passages can't depose the over arching themes I've found. And to me that's what's wrong with a lot of Christian sects these days, taking one passage completely out of context and letting it fuel your campaign. The Bible demands to be read and digested as a whole, I'm convinced it's more than the mere sum of its parts. And yes, I know what you're thinking, that Zach sure is a sexy smart fellow. But other than that you're thinking: what the fuck Zach? How can you analyze the Bible as a whole when you haven't even read it all yet? Good point, I'm working on it alright. Jeez, I can only go so fast. So on that note, here's to another two years of The Book That God Wrote.