Why Is Everyone So Scared?

Hey everyone, where have I been? Well last week I went back home for a little visit, and then I decided to take a week off from the whole Book That God Wrote thing, and I might take another week off too. 1 Samuel is a great stopping point for a little while. Don't worry though, I'll be back soon, I'm not going anywhere, but the better books can really take it out of me because, well, I have so much to say about them, and we just had a wonderful series of them. what with Joshua, Judges, Ruth and 1 Samuel all in a row, the Bible must be making up for Numbers and Deuteronomy, bout damn time if you ask me. But there's been something on my mind recently that I thought I'd bitch about on my digital soap box for a little while. Basically, why are Christians so goddamn scared of everything? Intrigued? Read on.

What do I mean scared of everything? Well how bout I start with the opposite mentality, the typical corny Christian beliefs that should imply the opposite. Super Christians will shout to anyone walking by that "Jesus has already won this war," it's practically their mating call. In their mind Christianity is the one and only true religion, that everything else is a vehicle of Satan and that there's nothing to discuss because there's not even a struggle. Christianity won the second Jesus died and re-alived himself. That was check and fucking mate in one masterful stroke (Damn, God's a strategic genius). Now this is the kind of belief that causes so many Christians to be complete insufferable assholes, why? Well because with them there's no discussion of theology, there's only their abrasive insistence that they're right and you're wrong. Hey guys, change your tactic, no one wants to convert to a religion if it's filled with assholes like you, seriously. So, if they are convinced they're right, if they know without a shadow of a doubt that Christianity is the bomb and everything else is fake, evil, and already defeated, then why in the bloody fuck are they scared of this:

That's right, these same cocky assholes are scared shitless by a little deck of cards. Wait, what? Yeah, apparently because you can tell the future with these cards, it's sorcery after all, which is evil. Umm ... ok, first of all, it's just a deck of cards, that's right kids, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you can't tell the future with tarot cards. Yeah, the 50 bucks you paid for a tarot reading was just a complete scam, the mysterious lady flipping the cards wasn't some magical sage, just a con artist that likes pretty artwork. But even if this was real (it's not), and tarot cards had some magical Satan fueled power, I would think that these Super Christians would just laugh them off. After all, Jesus already won right? Tarot cards aint got nothing on the one true messiah and all that, "Hey can your stupid cards save you from an eternity in hell? Didn't think so, What up!" Yet here we are, with a group of people who are ridiculously confident in their beliefs, but scared shitless by something so tiny and just plain silly. This dichotomy really confuses me.

I mean really?

Let me give you some more background, for a good amount of my life I was knee deep in a youth group full of such Super Christians, and there's something I learned that always stuck with me. I was taught that angels were weaker than human beings, with us being both spiritual and physical whereas angels were merely spiritual, and what with our free will and all that, we pretty much kick their ass. Second, Satan is just a fallen angel, thus weaker than us. Third, that if a demon showed up in my fucking room, that all I had to do was say the name of Christ and it would flee, hell I heard a story implying that all you had to do was think the name and demon's would have to flee. Yes I am fucking serious, I was told that demons, honest to goodness demons, were wimpy little pushovers that could be thwarted by saying one word, one name, and they had to flee. Fucking A right? Spiritual warfare, I get off on that stuff, totally badass, and we can fuck up demons with a single word, your move Satan ... Oh Fuck! A deck of cards! Run!

Nice try asshole.

Yeah, that's how it always felt to me, we can fuck up a demon like it's nothing, but were expected to cower in fear if a deck of cards shows up with a bunch of freaky looking artwork on it. And if it was just tarot cards I'd have just shrugged it off as just a weird exception, but these Super Christians are scared of everything. And not just future telling stuff like tarot cards and ouiji boards, no, they're even scared of games ... that's right, these people that were smiting demons with a single word were terrified of Magic the Gathering, Dungeons and Dragons, and fucking Pokemon.

Actually, that is kind of terrifying.

Can someone explain this to me? What is there to be scared of? I thought, in your words, the war was over? Actually, I'm pretty sure I know what it is, and it may seem a little paranoid on my part, but fear is an incredible tool. It's easy to control people with fear, saved Christians are hard to scare with hell and demons, that's why they got all borned again in the first place, from fear of that hell place and those evil demon things ... but then what? Oh right, card and board games, even though there's nothing to be scared of, you better be scared of all of this unscary stuff. Fear. I hate churches and denominations that use fear to get their way, and I don't even know what their motivation is. Like I see why the government uses fear to control us, because if we're scared dickless we wont tell them to go fuck themselves when they try to pass shit like that awful Patriot Act. But what is a church's motivation for controlling people? I don't understand, they want us scared of games, and fun, and sex (Don't even get me started on the sex thing). But why? What does it accomplish?

Pardon me for being a hopeless romantic, but I'm not a Christian (Barely) because I'm scared of anything. On the contrary I dont even believe in hell, or Satan, or demons. I don't think there's anything to be scared of, and not because Jesus already won some imaginary war, but because I don't think religion is about warfare, or about getting into some utopian heaven or avoiding some Dante-like hell. No I have my beliefs because they seem to be based more on love ... I hope, we'll see when I'm done reading this Bible thing. Love, community, anit-materialism and accepting others, the things retarded asshole rails against, social justice, that's what it's supposed to be about. Not fear, especially not fear of something as dumb as a deck of silly cards. These Christians have their priorities all fucked up, and it worries me. Seriously, why are you scared of cards, or demons, or Satan when people like:

actually exist in the world? Can some abstract hell be worse than what we see daily in this world of ours? I don't know, I don't know what my point is supposed to be here. Maybe it's that so many Super Christians are missing the point. I guess they enjoy being petty, gossipy, judgmental, and scared shitless of everything. It's too bad, 'cause they're missing out on some awesome things.

Terrifying.

Until next time guys.