Aural Pleasure, The Seventh Day of Xmas

On the seventh day of Xmas my AP gave to me ... seven sirens singing. Well no, it's actually two sirens singing, but we did "Two" earlier. Maybe today's collection should have been two and two should have been three, but then where would three go? Seven? You see the problem? Anyway, I'm so happy today that I get to talk about this dynamic duo.

Aural Pleasure, The Sixth Day of Xmas

On the sixth day of Xmas my AP gave to me ... One Hundred Blog Posts! That's right everyone, this is my hundredth ever post, and it's quite fitting that I get to spend it talking about one of my all time favorite bands ever. By all rights it's probably one of your all time favorite bands too, and that's because Radiohead is a group of stunning and experimental musicians that have never ceased to amaze this humble listener. Yep, gave it away before the jump (As if the title picture doesn't do that already), who cares it's Radiohead, Wooo 100!

Aural Pleasure, The Fifth Day of Xmas

On the fifth day of Xmas my AP gave to me ... five octothorpes ... no that's not right, there's only one octothorpe that I know of. What's an octothorpe you ask? That's a great question, I have no idea, all's I know is there's a big one stamped on the front of today's album, take a look and see.

Aural Pleasure, The Fourth Day of Xmas

On the fourth day of Xmas my AP gave to me ... four pedal steels a-sliding ... sliding? Is that the right verb? Twanging? Yes twanging, that's what pedal steels do, and there's a lot of twanging in today's pick:

Aural Pleasure, The Third Day of Xmas

On the third day of Xmas my AP gave to me ... three girls a-mourning ... Woah, that doesn't sound good does it? Hmm, three girls a-belting? A-singing? A-being sad because their naive preconceptions of life and love have shattered around them and are now forced to deal with the pain of toughening up against a cruel and harsh world? Yes, that's it! That's what this next wonderful album is all about.

Aural Pleasure, The Second Day of Xmas

On the second day of Xmas my AP gave to me ... two rappers rapping ... well okay, mostly two rappers, their DJ drops in for quite a few tracks. And you can't have a rap album without guest appearances and cameos, you seriously can't. Anyone know why that is? Anyway, the point is there's more than two rappers rapping, but this is typically a duet, since today's best album is:

Aural Pleasure, The First Day of Xmas

On the first day of Xmas my AP gave to me ... A Decemberist in a Folk Tree. Oh man, did I just give it away, if I've learned (stolen) anything from other blogs doing this sort of thing is that you don't give away the actual item until after the jump. Oh well, this is my first go, there's bound to be kinks. So here we go, my first favorite of the year.

A Very AP Xmas

Merry xmas everyone, now that this year is almost over I feel this is a perfect time to take a moment reflect on 2011 ... Wow yeah that's depressing huh? I imagine most people had a shit year, so let's reflect on something else ... like, say, MUSIC! Indeed music had one hell of a year this year huh? Seriously, this is one of the best years for music I can remember in a long time, this year for music was what 2007 was for movies, as in there's just too much good, too many surprises, and this year I would actually have trouble narrowing my favorite music down to a top ten list. This might not sound like that big of a deal, but usually my favorite music of a particular year only includes a few current selections, and it's not because good music didn't come out that year. It's usually because I'm usually really jamming on things that came out previously, and despite that, I was still obsessed with tons of things that actually came out this year, things that actually surprised me. So, in honor of this wonderful year of music, taking a page from the RPS chaps, I am going to do an Aural Pleasure Presents: The Twelve Days of Xmas Music Extravaganza, where each day of Xmas I gush about an album that came out this year that I fucking loved.

The Book That God Wrote, Job

Hello everyone, welcome to my take on what might be the most important book of the Bible so far. Do I say that a lot? I don't know, maybe it's true a lot. In any case it's true here. Are you ready to have your mind blown? If you're unfamiliar with Job, and you think you know how our little religion works, then yes, prepare to have your mind blown.

There Is A Mine...

There is a mine for silver and a place where gold is refined.
Iron is taken from the earth, and copper is smelted from ore.
Man puts an end to the darkness; he searches the farthest recesses
for ore in the blackest darkness. Far from where people dwell he cuts a shaft,
in places forgotten by the foot of man; far from men he dangles and sways.
The earth, from which food comes, is transformed below as by fire;
sapphires come from its rocks, and its dust contains nuggets of gold.
No bird of prey knows that hidden path, no falcon’s eye has seen it.
Proud beasts do not set foot on it, and no lion prowls there.
Man’s hand assaults the flinty rock and lays bare the roots of the mountains.
He tunnels through the rock; his eyes see all its treasures.
He searches the sources of the rivers and brings hidden things to light.

-Job 28:1-11

Noviembre

Yaaawn... *stretch* What's up everyone? What time is it? ... Oh damn, did I just sleep through November? Shit, I just slept through November. In my defense though ... um ... Skyrim. Seriously, someone had to throw corpses down stairs and raise zombie deer. Oh, and then Thanksgiving happened on top of that. So yeah, looks like November was a bust. But hey, Job is coming soon, I promise, and it'll be a good one. Also, I have something cool planned for December, so be on the lookout. Hooray. Now, back to sleep, that bed looks comfy.

Halloween Classics VII, Hallow's Eve

Surprise! It's a "Halloween Classics" double feature. You didn't think I'd let you down on All Hallows Eve did you? Throw on a lab coat because this isn't just a Zach post series double feature either. No no, it's an effin Boris Karloff double feature. Oh hell yes, and not just that, tonight I present you with a Frankenstein double feature. It's a Halloween Miracle. That's right, it's time for me to narrowly escape from a burning lighthouse and learn how to awkwardly speak so that I can tell you what I think of 1935's "Bride of Frankenstein."

Halloween Classics VI, It's Alive!

Happy Halloween everyone. Let's celebrate this most wonderful of holidays with a classic "Halloween Classics," what do you say? What makes this one such a redundant classic you ask? Well it's back to my basics, this one's a good old fashioned monster movie, not just any monster movie either, this is a Universal joint. Raising from my lab table to tell you what I think in grunts and groans, here's 1931's "Frankenstein" starring the brilliant Boris Karloff.

Halloween Classics V, The Best Worst Movie

Hello all, this month hasn't exactly gone as planned as far as the Halloween Classics are concerned. I was planning to have one each week and possibly end it all on Halloween itself. Not only did I get started a week late, but a movie I chose to look didn't actually work out, and here we are the day before and I'm about to talk about a movie I wasn't even planning on covering. It worked out because last night, in honor of Halloween antics, the girlfriend and I sat down to watch "Troll 2" which is just too classic to keep to myself. Seriously keep reading, because if you haven't seen this movie you'll want to.

Aural Pleasure, Never Die!

Hey everyone, as we wait for the next Halloween Classics to rise from my lab table, jolted to life by a lightning strike (Is that a clue? Yes), I thought this would also be the perfect time to tell you about one of my all time favorite bands. A band that hosts a three day super concert extravaganza every Halloween. A band that has songs about ghosts, werecats, and of all things Anabel Lee. That's right, the band that will never die, proudly sporting the tiger bat as their emblem, Tiger Army.

What I Learned From Esther

So Esther ... Esther, Esther, Esther, what did I learn from Esther? Well I feel like that title is sort of a misnomer because there isn't really all that much to learn from Esther per say. Other than the historical origins of Purim. So I guess this is more of a "What I Thought" of Esther and ... well ... here's where I'll disappoint the Esther fans out there. But hey I didn't start this blog to make friends, nor keep them, so here we go. See I didn't find Esther to be a very heroic figure. "Omg," I hear some of you thinking, "she totally saved the Jews, how is that not heroic?" Sure, but at what cost? And with what underlying message? See it's the deeper seeds of this story that I really have a problem with, so let's get to it shall we?

Halloween Classics IV, A House Born Bad

Hello guys and ghouls, it's October, and you know what that means right? Besides cooler weather it means the glorious return of Halloween Classics. So, I thought I'd start this year's series off with a true classic, one that has aged wonderfully and remains scary to this day. Based off of a Shirley Jackson joint, it's 1963's "The Haunting." That's right folks, not that shitty remake from the nineties, this is the real deal here, in glorious black and white, and not starring a Wilson brother.

The Book That God Wrote, Esther

Hey everybody, here I am back again, trying to stop this once a month madness, here to tell you all about the book of Esther. This is an important one to a lot of people, God I hope I don't disappoint all the Esther fans out there, though I probably will. Read on to find out how I'll disappoint you.

The Book That God Wrote, Nehemiah

Hey hey everyone, I'm back to tell you about all this Bible reading I've been doing. Woooooooo! Wow, um sorry, I'm just excited. Why am I excited you ask? Well, duh, because Nehemiah is freaking awesome that's why. Well, okay, it's really just awesome when compared to the previous book. Not that that's some incredible feat though. But still, I found Nehemiah much more enjoyable, so read on to find out why.

The Book That God Wrote, Ezra

Holy crap, what's happening? Is it really the end of August? And with nary a post from yours truly? I'm going to have to fix that aren't I? How bout this, how bout I tell you what happened in the next book of the Bible? Does that sound good? Yeah, I thought so ... let's see ... hmm this book is called Ezra, nice and simple to spell, a lot like Ruth. Also it's only 10 pages long, woohoo ... which makes it like 3 times as long as Ruth but twice as short as 2 Chronicles. Man, am I making any sense here? Here let me just read this shit and get back to you.

The Book That God Wrote, 2 Chronicles

Hey everyone, this past week I read 2 Chronicles, and now I'm here to tell you wot I think (as the RPS chaps like to say) and what I learned (as the me chap likes to say). So another two-parter eh? Is this one as good as the others? What if I told you it was the others. Say wha? Read on to see what I mean.

The Book That God Wrote, 1 Chronicles

Hey everyone, this past week I read 1 Chronicles, and now I'm here to tell you wot I think (as the RPS chaps like to say) and what I learned (as the me chap likes to say). So another two-parter eh? Is this one as good as the others? What if I told you it was the others. Say wha? Read on to see what I mean.

What I Learned From 2 Kings

Okay, let me be completely clear, I don't really like 2 Kings very much, nor do I think there's much value here at all. In the (not so) long line of books of the Bible I've read so far there are a few that are must reads, for example: Genesis, Exodus, Judges, 1 Samuel, and 1 Kings. Then there are those that aren't really must reads, but still contain some significant or interesting things, e.g. Leviticus, some of Numbers, Joshua, Ruth, and 2 Samuel. Then, well, then there's the ones that you could pretty much skip and not miss out on anything, like: the rest of Numbers and Deuteronomy. I seriously feel like 2 Kings falls in this last category, that is, if it weren't for one thing. Here let me just prove it to you by comparing 2 Kings to its predecessor. 1 Kings had effin Solomon, Elijah (which included the greatest god competition ever recorded), Ahab and Jezebel. What did 2 Kings have? Let's see, Elisha who's just some pale imitation of Elijah and ... um ... I guess Jehu? I mean, these aren't really memorable fellows, except for how stupidly violent they were. See, there you go, might as well read 1 Kings, which is awesome, and skip 2 Kings on over to 1 Chronicles (On second thought, do not do that).

The Book That God Wrote, 2 Kings Part 3

Hey guys, I'm back to make fun of- er no, I mean explain some Bible stories to you. Hey, what's this? Have I actually finished an entire book of the Bible in a single month? Wow, it's starting to feel like Feb. 2010 up in here. No, actually no, I finished two books that month, damn. Anyway, yeah we're reaching the end of 2 Kings, and wow what an ending. There's a lot here, so let's get to it.

Zach's Summer Drinks or: How I Learned to Stop Caring About Being a Cowboy and Enjoy a Cold Drink

Hello all, it's me again, Zach, here to blab about some things. You like to read me blab don't you? Good. Hey it's hot out huh? It's fucking hot, that picture up above is the real deal (It actually ended up getting worse). One of the perks of living in Louisiana is that during the summer if your AC breaks then it will be 90 degrees in your apartment at fucking midnight. I am not exaggerating ... at all. So, what does one do about such insulting temperatures you ask? Drink. This is the perfect time to guzzle that C₂H₅OH, and it's also the perfect time for me to do another entry about my favorite drinks. Remember last time, when I would say things like "Eh this is only good when it's hot outside," remember that? Yeah, it's fucking hot, so how bout I share some of my favorite summer drinks.

The Book That God Wrote, 2 Kings Part 2

Hey there everyone, I'm back to do some more Bible commenting about. Wait ... yeah that's right. Today we get to learn about Jehu, who will be the king of Israel. Except first he has to kill about half the country to get there. Wow, sounds like your typical summer blockbuster. What are sequels for after all. Off we go.

Aural Pleasure, The Man Who Couldn't Cry

Hey everyone, whatsup? I'm trying something new tonight, see Bible entries take a lot of time and work and sweat and lazing about getting all soul searchy ... it's pretty scary actually. The point here is that the only series I have running are all 15 paragraph epic discussions about a weighty religious text ... meaning I don't get many entries out the door in a timely fashion. So I propose to change that here and now, there's a series I've been meaning to start for a long time, and you know what? I'm just going to jump in and fucking do it already. Here it is, it's called Aural Pleasure, which you may have noticed was the title of my end of year lists, it's about music, and it's awesome. Okay cool, see you next time...

The Book That God Wrote, 2 Kings Part 1

Hey guys, I'm back, finally. Today we start on the sequel of Kings. We get more Elijah, more fun miracles, and some pretty crazy twists. Also, two of the most insane evil stories I've read so far. But, is it as good as the original Kings? Well read on to find out I guess.

What I Learned From 1 Kings

At first glance, 1 Kings doesn't seem to have much in the "Hey I Learned Something" department. I mean sure there's the obvious with Solomon, the whole wisdom > gold, fame, and sex. Though it does sort of imply that the pursuit of wisdom will make you rich, powerful, and a sex machine. It's a nice thought, but my own pursuit of wisdom hasn't led to such a life, at least not yet. But that's okay, I can live without having to decide which of my 700 wives I'll sleep with tonight, and if you think this is a problem that you'd love to have, then you haven't thought of what having 700 wives worth of nagging would be like have you? Yeah I know, it hurts your soul doesn't it? There's also the fact that there weren't very many stories exemplifying Solomon's wisdom, I mean we're told he's wise, so I guess we've got to just accept that. Or maybe we'll just have to wait for Proverbs to really see. And don't even start with the whole "Let's cut a baby in half, woo!" is a sign of his wisdom. It's more proof that everyone else in Israel was dumb. Hm, maybe that's it, maybe Solomon was just super wise relative to the rest of Israel. There's something to think about eh?

The Book That God Wrote, 1 Kings Part 4

Alright, so I guess I should tell you about the last stuff in 1 Kings yeah? Let's get to it shall we, unfortunately Elijah has bombed out since speaking with God, and he doesn't really show up again until 2 Kings. Still there's a little bit more crazy to share with you, especially regarding Ahab. Let's get to it.

The Book That God Wrote, 1 Kings Part 3

Hey there, I'm back after a quick little legal battle. Don't worry, I have the best lawyer ever, seriously you should've heard her. She rocked in some freedom of speech arguments along with the obvious separation of church and state point. And my favorite, "My client's beliefs resemble those of Deist practices, which may I remind the court, were held by many of the founding fathers. Under this belief system, it would be impossible for the God my client believes in to be present enough to bring charges on a follower." It was brilliant, not that God had much of a case anyway. But I'm back, to tell you all about how awesome Elijah was. Let's get to it.

Notification of Cease and Desist

This is a notification that the author, known as "Master Z" or simply "Zach," of this blog named "Scientific Conquests of a Cowboy Mathematician," herein referred to as simply "the blog," has been issued an order of cease and desist in regards to his or her continuing series "The Book That God Wrote." Further, this author is currently under investigation for defamation of character, false representation of legal records, and conspiracy to think independently. As a consequence of these charges, the author's computers and other communication devices have been seized until a to be determined date. For further details regarding the nature of these charges brought forth by our client refer to Article 17a. (iii) of this document, herein referred to as "after the jump."

The Book That God Wrote, 1 Kings Part 2

Hello there, March is almost over, I'm just barely getting two entries in this month, which is my average rate I suppose. Today we get to learn about all of the chaos born from the death of Solomon. We also learn about a great character I never really knew about before, he's this nutty prophet named Ahijah ... okay well he's only nutty because I indulged and made him that way, but there's gotta be a reason I was inspired to lean that way don't you think? Anyway, read on, read on.

The Book That God Wrote, 1 Kings Part 1

Hey guys, I'm back. I say that a lot don't I? Well, I've decided to stop apologizing for it, I'm busy, you know that already, I know that already, let's just stop focusing on that ok? I'm never giving up on this project though, ever, that I promise, so even if there's no updates for ten years, keep refreshing this page because it will be coming soon. Anyway, today I'm going to tell you all about David's successor, the wise and very sexually experienced Solomon. Read on, read on.

What I Learned From 2 Samuel

Man ... do I even exist anymore? I don't think so, I think I've been replaced with job applications, dissertations, papers, and various other forms of mathematics, but I can crawl out of this depressing cave of boring to give you my thoughts on 2 Samuel even though I can't remember half of it anymore. Wait, no, I remember the important parts, it's about David, my main man David, and his inevitable downfall. Was it inevitable? I think so, much like main character deaths are inevitable in Joss Whedon shows, the moral fall of a holy character in the Bible is pretty much a must. This is the book that takes David at what would be any normal person's lowest point, the slaughter of the secret homosexual love of his life, and showed just how much worse shit could get. Why did this book take me so long to get through and finally finish writing about (besides the whole PhD bullshit)? Because this book is depressing. It takes our main man David, the most under of all underdogs and kicks him while he's down. Leave it to the Bible to throw a curve ball like that to the pinnacle of all underdog stories, "No, our victorious underdog doesn't live happily ever after, he gets fucked over an uncountable number of times, the end." Hard to stomach that, don't you think?

The Book That God Wrote, One Year Later

A year ago I had an idea, nothing big, just a little side thing to occupy my math related blog when I couldn't think of anything science-y to talk about. You might have heard about it. If not it's where I decided I'd read the entire Bible and share my thoughts, learnings, insights, doubts, and exclamations. I even claimed I'd be able to do all of this in a year and three months, all while trying to finish up my doctorate. In any case, today's the anniversary of the very first post in "The Book That God Wrote" series, that's right, Genesis Part 1 first saw the light of day exactly a year ago. So, how did I do? What have I learned? What's my stance on all this so far? Well in celebration of this anniversary I thought I'd answer a few of those questions.

Um WTF? Stats Edition

Okay, so here's a look at some of my blog stats. As you can see above, there was a jump in page visits at around 14 o'clock today. Yes that line is at 90, what in the what is going on? I never have that many views in an hour. Well upon further investigation, this is what I found (BTW give a little click on the pics to see a full version).

The Book That God Wrote, 2 Samuel Part 3

Hey, so looks like I'm back sooner that I expected. Guess I must have stolen a bit of free time. When we last left David things weren't looking great. His family was kinda falling apart, actually, no, it had become a complete disaster. David's son had raped his own half-sister and sent her off into outcast, and her brother decided to get even. This is about as fucked up as families get in the Bible (and that's saying something). And let me tell you, I'd love to say that everything get's better for the old giant slayer, I really wish I could, I've been rooting for the guy. But, well let me just tell you, read on.

Aural Pleasure, Looking Forward 11

Hey there party people, so it'll probably be a good while before I can get back to the Bible entries. I know, I know, I've been applying for jobs, and writing my dissertation, and typing up a paper for publication that'll be the last chapter of my dissertation, and I'm trying to do all of this without going completely nuts. So, until at least one of following is done I probably won't have time to devote to an entire Bible entry. But in the mean time I can share a few entries that require less resources from me. Like this one I'm writing now, here's a list of some music to look forward to in 2011, and in a year we'll see which one's actually end up on my best-of list.

Aural Pleasure, 2010 For The Win

Hi there, happy new year. As you can see I didn't have that final 2 Samuel entry before the end of December. What can I say? Oh right, I was home for the holidays and didn't feel like taking time away from friends and family to sit down and write a monstrously sized entry about a part of the Bible I haven't even finished reading yet (whoops, cat's out of the bag now I guess). Anyway, what should I do to hold you over? I know, end of year lists ... 'cause yknow those are awesome. What follows is my top five albums of the year, they're in no particular order except for what I arbitrarily name "Albomb of the Year!" Now there are some rules here, firstly I'm taking the same oath I did last year: basically I'm sticking with things that you might not have heard of before, so Kanye West's new album might be the shit on holy toast but I'm not fucking listing it here understand. So let's get to it shall we.